Well,
I apologize for leaving things so messy... as far as an update I could not be
more grateful to say that my Pastor is a prayer WARRIOR and has prayed a
covering over me that is battling MUCH in the spiritual realm. My sanity
has been so opposed, depression...it's not just me, either. Several of us
have expressed depressing attacks and things have been falling apart- computers
failing, money running out, spiritual warfare. I know this just sounds
like life- but on top of our work load it has been a real test.
I am grateful to say that I was
blessed to get my computer saved (I got a virus and it shut down completely)
for a fee, but my life was on it, so I could not be more grateful. Thank
God for birthday money I had not spent since October and a bit more! Also,
I just want to give a sincere shout out to a woman that has been a prayer
warrior for me for years now, and I have never even met her face to face.
Peggy Bender blessed me with a special gift and her love which I could
not be more touched or blessed by. xoxo
I want to share something very
personal. I want to share how God is speaking, even though things have
been challenging. I keep asking Him what the next step is, what the plan
is... He just WILL NOT tell me. It's painful for a control freak, hehe.
But a week ago we were working on the big book of Isaiah and everyone was
just maxed out. God has given me Isaiah 54 a few times in my life, over
several years... it is the one about, "Do you not know, O barren woman,
that your children will be more than those of the woman with a husband.
Expand your tent- spread them wide- for your children will possess
Nations." It speaks of the wife who has lost her husband and been
rejected. About how she will not suffer the shame of her youth... It is a
powerful, powerful chapter. One night, exhausted, I was working on my
homework and I got a facebook message from a dear girlfriend of mine. We
worked together at Bethany Christian Services but she was in Redding so I
didn't get to see her often, but what a dear sister. She messaged me and
said, "Leah, I am sitting here crying…and God has asked me to say
something to you…and the freakiest thing happened…I typed it all out and then
my message was lost…literally. So here
it goes again…
You
asked God to be a Mother of One…
And
He is making you into a Mother of Nations…
And
like Sarah, wife of Abraham, your life will be a testimony to those that are
called on to wait…
And
while you wait know that He is there loving you intimately… longing to heal you…and
fulfill your dreams. He loves you so
much. Hold on.
Now
the thing is… she knew me through my last miscarriage and the pain of that
whole experience. The anger I
experienced and how long it took to recover.
She has seen me wait…and wait…and wait for different things, like the
health of my marriage, the IRS fiasco, and such. When I read it, I cried instantly. It was so intimate- so like our God to go
straight for the heart. As I read it, I
was sitting in the room with four Nations who have given me the privilege of
speaking into their lives. I confess I
didn’t like the part about my life being a testimony to those who are called on
to wait!! But I am grateful to be a testimony for Him in any way…and I am grateful,
grateful to have heard from my Daddy.
So
here is Isaiah 54 telling me that my children will possess Nations and a word
sent directly through one of His obedient ones saying that He is making me into
a Mother of Nations. I have also had a
word spoken over me within the last year that ‘my hands would bring healing to
the Nations.’ Well, hello… doesn’t a
mother’s love bring healing? I may not
ever know the love of a child calling me, “Mama” but I definitely will be
blessed to speak into the lives of those He calls me to…and what an honor. What an honor.
I
am still praying about what the next step is…of course. We are doing the prophets right now and can I
just say…ooftah. I don’t get much of it
and they are very dark. But there is
always a message of restoration and I am sure some of it is sinking in. Please pray for us as we press forward. We are getting glimpses of the Messiah and I
am SO looking forward to His coming in Matthew at the end of this quarter…which…scary
is only two months away now. Two months
to raise the 2rd quarter fees, but I cannot think about that now. I recently learned that the IRS will keep my
tax return for the debt that was incurred thru my ex’s fiasco…again…won’t go into
that now. I am grateful for any and all
prayers. Please know that I mean that…please,
continue to pray. I am so blessed by
your prayers. Xoxo
