So…this ‘in between’ business is
taking its toll. I know there will
always be seasons of ‘being in between’ in life but good gravy this one is
humbling me (which I am sure is partly the point.)
I have been quite blessed in my
careers. I started as a bagger at 15 and
worked in grocery stores for the next 16 years.
I worked in almost every department at one point or another and there
are days I truly do miss it; but at the time it was kicking my butt (what a
physical job it is!) and I cannot say I miss customers being so rude! (Ya’ll know who you are.) Plus I didn’t know
who I could be outside of grocery and I didn’t want a 15 year old girl to
determine what I would do for the rest of my life.
From there I walked clearly into
YWAM and missions business in 2004 thinking it would be my path- until I
allowed myself to get caught in a tangled web, getting sidetracked- but even
then, God in His mercy walked me RIGHT into Bethany Christian Services. Without even seeking a job He gave me the
best one I could have asked for! For 6
years I was blessed to be the front desk superstar surrounded by the most amazing
group of women who remain my dear friends.
When it was time I went back to YWAM thinking… Ok! THIS is it… THIS is what I am meant to be
doing and for two years it was absolutely true.
Until it wasn’t- and God brought me home. Again.
I know people from Modesto will
understand when I say it’s like the Mob.
Just when you think you’re out- it sucks you back in again!! Hehe
Back to allergies, back to the
cold. Back to McHenry, Briggsmore, and
Staniford. Back to Bethany Christian
Services as well… a different job, but one I am grateful and blessed by.
Still, I went from living in
community, barely able to find alone time, working from the time I got up until
I went to bed…to working from home and being alone 20 hours a day. Don’t get me wrong- neither sucks- but they
are vastly different and it is quite the adjustment! Still, I am confident that God has me exactly
where He wants me and has been teaching me to Slow Down for Pitties Sake!!! But, slowing down is hard for a goer. My body insists I am not who I used to be and
the ‘going’ of my past is no longer. I
have to find new ways to stimulate my mind and body while not rushing ahead of
the Lord’s plan. I’m trying to not get
discouraged and dream new dreams.
It’s just that I’m 43, and I thought
I’d know what I was supposed to be doing by now. (Can’t you hear God chuckling.)
I took one of those tests: ‘best jobs for
personality types.’ I’m a INFT. Introvert (oh, yes I am, trust me) INtuitive,
Feeler, Thinker. This is the list of
careers best suited for me: Writer,
Counselor/Social Worker, Teacher, Psychologist/Phsychiatrist, Musician,
Clergy/Religious worker. Now, if you
know me, you are with me in saying, “Wow” and laughing a bit because I have
done everything on this list to some extent at one time or another (minus the
degree for a Psychologist/chiatrist). It’s
a trip, boys and girls. I haven’t
blogged, because there hasn’t been much outward change. But I feel a very definite shift in my inner
man. Something is coming. Something big. It’s gonna take a couple of years to fully develop-
but I know that in two years time- EVERYTHING will have changed.
Mark my words.
