You're Approved.

I really don’t know where to begin.  How do you address 7 years of suffering and lessons in one blog?

If you know me at all you know that for the last 7 years I have been under an IRS debt that was created by my exes lack of paying his personal and business taxes.  I didn’t know it.  Lame but true.  When I did find out it was by the IRS levying my wages in 2010.  That year alone they took $20 of the $27k I earned.  It was brutal to say the least.  I filed two Innocent Spouse claims and lost both.  When it came down to one mark for me and one against me the agent decided against me.  When I asked ‘why she would do that’ she answered, “Because you trusted him.”  Ouch.  Okay.  So on went the struggle. 
Over the years God has given me different promises and spoken words of hope and restoration to me.  I have clung to and buried every one in my heart. 

This is the 7^th year of this state.  Seven is the biblical symbol of completion.  Perfection.  In October I filed an Offer in Compromise with the IRS showing them the reality of my finances and asking for relief.  Asking that the over $31k I have paid up to this point be sufficient.  I have believed that this will be the answer.  I have put every ounce of my confidence in the fact that THIS will be the end. That I will be restored to ‘being a grown up’ as I call it; capable of functioning in an upright manner.  There has been no doubt.  When fear crept in I would rebuke it.  When hesitation was whispered I denied it.  Every egg in this one basket. 

Several weeks ago I prayed, growing impatient.  “Lord, I believe You.  I believe. I believe. I believe… but… can I just have a confirmation from your word to assure me?”  Deuteronomy 16:9 went through my mind.  Okay.  I read it.  It begins, “You shall count 7 weeks…”  I counted out 7 weeks on the calendar- January 21.  I started the long count down of 7 weeks.  As I drove to church the next morning I heard Him say, “One week for every year you have suffered.”  Longest 7 weeks ever.

Finally the seventh week came.  Jan. 21^st was a Saturday so I didn’t expect any news.  That weekend I listed to a link that my co-worker had given me about entering the courts of heaven and approaching God as The Judge.  Not as Abba (Daddy), not as Father (the disciplinarian who will prune you for your own sake), not as Friend (as Jesus describes us in John 15:15), but as Judge.  The one who determines justice when the accuser has a legal case against us.  It rocked my world.  I listened, I cried, I repented and I approached The Judge with confidence. 

“Your Honor… I come to you and ask for justice to be served.  By the promises You have given me (and I listed them.)  By the righteousness of my hands because of the sacrifice of Your Son, my Lawyer…”  I came out of any agreements I had made with the enemy regarding this state, the IRS, my ex, anything, everything… and felt the shift. 

The next day was Monday and I fully expected a letter in the mail.  Nothing.

Tuesday.  Nothing.  Wednesday.  Nothing.  Thursday… “Now, Lord….” as if He needed a reminder, “Saturday will be 8 weeks.  You said 7.”  That evening I opened an email from someone who had run my credit regarding housing.  I had told her about the lien and that it would come up.  She emailed me with a subject line that read, “You’re Approved.”  Excuse me?  I’m never approved.  No one will touch me.  My credit score is good… but the IRS lien is a block wall.  Her email asked, “Is this all you owe?”  with a total in the hundreds.  The IRS debt read “PAID.”  Paid???   P-A-I-D.

I ran out to the mailbox still thinking the news would come in letterform.  Nothing.  Still… a third party had run my credit and it showed paid!!  I wept for an hour.  Wept doesn’t describe what I did.  I did the ugly face, gut wrenching, fetal position on the floor, dog wondering if you are okay cry.  For an hour.  I cried on the toilet.  I cried in the shower.  I cried in the middle of the entry hall floor.  I cried against the wall.  I cried until I literally had no tears.  My eyes ached and were sensitive for two days from all the crying I did. 

“I knew it.  I KNEW You wouldn’t make me live under that forever!  I knew it!”

The next morning I called the IRS to make an appointment to go in and pay whatever portion remained of the Compromise.  The woman I spoke to was the nicest IRS agent I have ever spoken to.  Another Miracle!!  She called me ‘baby’ no less then 4 times.  She was obviously African American and felt Southern.  I instinctively answered her with ‘yes, ma’am.’  She was kind and explanatory.  She spoke slowly and caressed me with her gentle words.  “No, baby… that’s not what I asked you.  What I asked you was…” I cried because she was so kind.  It was the perfect ending.  But her loving words didn’t end the saga.  According to their records it was still showing the compromise as ‘pending.’  According to her information it still showed that I owe the full amount.  She said there was a freeze of all IRS process between Dec. 24-Jan. 24 because of the new tax season and holidays.  Anything accomplished during that time may take a delay to come through.  “You just sit tight, baby.  If they told you February, then they will let you know.”  Sit tight?  Sit tight?!  Lord have mercy!!  I thanked her for her abundant kindness complimenting her as the best IRS contact I have EVER had.  She was gracious and asked if I had been mistreated.  There was no way to go into that.  I simply thanked her again for being stellar. 

I know it is accomplished.  God said 7 weeks and 7 weeks it was.  Now I wait for the IRS to bring their paperwork into alignment with what God has vindicated in the heavenlies.  

When God says, 'You're Approved;' YOU'RE APPROVED. 

I praise You God for Your faithfulness.

I praise You for handling everything I cannot.

I praise You for the beginning of the rest of my life.

I praise You…simply because You are You.  How grateful I am for YOU.