Happiest Thanksgiving

Well I am sorry it has been a bit since my last post! Crazy, crazy...
I have a couple miracles to tell you about- one is not yet my story to tell, but I will say that God is at work and blowing my mind...I look forward to giving you the details of that one as soon as I am able... but it ties into the second one in a way... the message God is driving home to me this last week is how totally in control He really is.  For someone who has control issues (I am NOT in denial about that and have gotten so much better over the years!) it is hard to trust and 'let go.'

Tuesday evening I was working in the library; one of the only places I can find where it is quiet to work.  It was about 9:15pm and my phone rang.  Nothing like the sound of the Pirates of the Caribbean singing "Yo Ho Yo Ho a Pirate's life for me!" at top ringer volume in the middle of a silent library.  I grabbed my phone and saw a California number.  I didn't recognize it but I answered as soon as possible just to get it to stop ringing!!  "Hello?" I said softly and hopefully not to the annoyance of anyone else in the library.  I was rushing towards the door to get outside so I couldn't tune in well to the voice on the other end saying, "Helloooooo, Leaaaaah."  "Hi," I said totally unaware of who I was speaking to.  "This is Aunt Annette."  I was so thrilled- and surprised!  "HI!!" I said meaning it this time.... "what are you doing calling me so late?( I was thinking after the time change there it should be around 11:15pm there) Are you okay?!!" I had just had a dream of her two nights earlier, so instantly I was wondering if something was wrong... "Actually, it's not that late," she responded..."We are on your time.  We are in Hawaii."  WHAT?!!!  "That is sooo great, where in Hawaii?"  "We are in Kona."  I about fell over.  No joke, "What?!  What?!  You're in Kona? Where in Kona? Do I get to see you???"  I could barely get the words out quick enough.  "Well, what are you doing for Thanksgiving we would like to take you to dinner."  I could not respond.  I went into that deep silent cry that has no sound.  She must have thought she lost me... I tried to make some sound so she would know I was still there...but I just couldn't speak.
It's amazing to me how God not only knows what we need, but He provides it without even being asked.  There was no part of me that thought I would ever, ever see Family here, let alone on Thanksgiving Day!!  It was unbelievable!
They came to the campus around 2:45pm.  I was out standing on a huge lava rock on the Hwy. so they would see me and not miss the turn.  Straight out of a movie I watched every car passing not knowing which car would be their rental.  Then a car slowed in the distance and I heard the horn start honking.  Hooooonk! honk honk hooooooonk!  My arms flew straight up into the air and I jumped up and down like a child.  I jumped off the rock.  I wonder if I have ever been happier to see two people.  hehe.  Huge hug from Aunt Annette and a quick jump into the backseat to take them through the gate and onto campus.  We went up to my dorm room.  "Oh, Leah," Aunt Annette said as we walked on the Lanai, "these are so nice."  I had to grin and say, 'okay...' because I knew we were about to walk into the room and it would be a different story!  We were not two steps in the door when her sweet face changed, "Oh, Leah..." she said again and we both started laughing.  Immediately upon walking in you see four beds, there are two in a loft upstairs you cannot see, but 6 women in one flat is quite a bit.  "I couldn't do it," she said, "I just couldn't do it."  I really appreciated hearing that because it has been the most character stretching thing for me as well.  I love my roommates, I really do.  I am so blessed by them, but hey, it's not easy.  You have to respect when someone else is sleeping or trying to work.  When they need in the bathroom and when they need to cook.  Others actually come into our room and always comment on how nice it is, but it is because we are older and tidy :)
I showed them around, it took about 10 steps, and the bathroom. "Oh, Leah... one bathroom for 6 girls?"  I didn't dare tell her we may get 2 more roommates next quarter! (ugh)  I explained the ONE spot on the shower handle where it MUST be in order to get hot water.  Not one smidge to the left or right or you will have cold water and tonight is actually the first time I have ever had truly hot water!  Praise You, Jesus!!  Really makes you appreciate the ability to take a shower at all!
I showed them my homework, what we actually do.  It felt so good to show someone and explain what is required.  To tell them how long it takes and how it flows.  They saw Ohana court, which is a basketball court and covered area where we have services that is right below our window... Aunt Annette recalled a mission trip to the Philippines that they had taken where they were above a basketball court and how difficult it was to sleep with just a bouncing basket ball.  It felt so good to have someone understand.  It felt so good just to have them here, standing in my room, seeing where I live.
We left for the restaurant and it was right down the hill.  It was an absolutely wonderful dinner on the water.  It was cool and even sprinkled a bit, but in Hawaii that is just fun.  It was cloudy but Aunt Annette wanted to see the sun set.  Who doesn't!  So I shot an arrow prayer up, "Oh, Lord, please let the sun come out of the clouds for her.  She's so good."  Sure enough when there was only about 10 minutes left before the sun would set, the clouds parted on the horizon and the huge red sun was visible with just a picture perfect cloud strand in front of it.  The sun set never gets old here, and it is amazing how quickly it appears to move when it is that close to the horizon.  It takes what seems to be no time at all to disappear.  It was gorgeous, and so generous of our Father.
I felt so honored to be with them.  To express to them, again, who they are to me and who they have never failed to be.  Jim and Annette King have been married for almost 40 years.  They are the true example in my life of what a marriage can and should look like.  They genuinely like each other!  They love each other and laugh and touch. He honors her and compliments her.  She calls him "James" (and babe) when everyone else calls him Jim.  I love it.
After dinner we drove and walked.  I thought they would take me back but we lingered in each other's presence and it was so, so wonderful. We had ice cream and conversation.  We laughed and remembered.  We had true conversation that I will not repeat here, and aren't those the good ones?  It was very possibly the best Thanksgiving I have ever had.  Who would have thunk it?
They dropped me off with hugs and prayer.  I got all choked up as I waved good bye.  I haven't had a night in a long time that I didn't want to end, and I treasured each bit of it throughout.

I didn't ask God for family on Thanksgiving.  But He knew how badly I needed them.  I didn't ask Him to validate all I'm doing here... but He did that, too.  I didn't ask Him to send two of my favorite people on the planet to love on me, but He did.  Think how much more, then, He will give when I ask.  He cares SO MUCH about me.  Me.. lil ol me.  He is right here, right now, as I type.  He is in me, for me, and working it all out for my good.
I have been...concerned...about how school is going to be paid.  How my LIFE will be paid if I am a full blown missionary.  I have the pride that needs to die a full death.  But He is showing me... I've got it.  "You don't even know where I will send provision from."  You don't know how it will show up or where it will come from.  Which angle or why.  He's got me, He's really, really got me.  Damn my lack of trust to the deepest pit of hell!!!  My Daddy LOVES ME!!! and He's GOT ME!!!  He loves me.  He's got me.

I am preparing my end of year newsletter dealie bob.  I have never done one, so please pray for me.  I don't have Microsoft Publisher but I am trying to figure it out somehow.  Pray I get time to write it and that I say what needs to be said and don't waste time saying what doesn't.  Pray for the hearts and minds of those who are called to support me monthly to be touched... I don't have many monthly supporters, 3 actually, and it is so hard to ask for that.  I wish I could express how much it means to me that people give gifts.  I wish I could say I don't need them.  I wish money never needed to be mentioned- ever.

Thanks for reading...sorry it was so long.  I appreciate you guys, I really do. ICJN, Leah

The good, the bad, and the truly ugly...

Hello, boys and girls.

I hesitate to be honest with you about this last week, but be honest I must as that is all there is….

Last week was the hardest I have had here yet.  I was attacked on every level.  Sunday I felt like my adrenals were lagging, which I hadn’t felt in quite some time but it is a sign of working too hard and not eating as well as I would like to.  Monday my back was out and I could barely function.  The good news is that I had prayed and asked the Lord for healing 3 different times not understanding why it wouldn’t come- I used to go to the chiropractor every two weeks, but not only had I not found one here I know I can’t afford to go every two weeks.  Finally, one of my precious roommates said, “you know- I want to pray for you but I know it wouldn’t do anything, so…”  “What?!  That’s it, come on…” I said.   She was what I was waiting for.  “Let’s go, let’s do it…” I said.  She was hesitant with her own struggles in the week.  As she prayed, saying all the ‘right things’ I cried out to God in my pain and desire for HER to receive.  “Please show her,” I prayed, “Pleeease…show her, and heal ME!!” It was a total combination of selfless and selfish! 

My pain did not completely go away, but I could tell the worst part of it- my rib head- had gone back in.  My range of motion was instantly better and I could stretch.  I wept as we hugged, we were both blown away.  I told her, “It was your prayer of faith I needed. Thank you so much.  Thank you SO MUCH for not holding out on me!”  It was amazing.  I took a shower and she asked me, “how is your back?”  I said, “It’s better… it’s not gone, but it’s better.”  “Well, I guess we need to pray again.”  she said.  She laid her hand on my back and prayed again.  I was so much better, it was literally like being able to breathe.  I was sore, like after an injury, but so so much better.  I knew God was giving me reprieve to get my butt in gear and find a chiropractor. It was the best part of my week.  

Tuesday we had a training regarding a computer program we need for our computers in order to do all the required charts and forms for homework.  I couldn’t download it because I don’t have Microsoft office installed.  I have Microsoft ‘starter’ but not the full office so I couldn’t do it.  You might think this is no big deal, but let me tell you the combination of these events sent me into a breakdown. I lost it.  It is always one more thing here, and last week our homework was due by Thursday morning so we could go on a field trip of ‘wandering in the desert.’  The added pressure and the thought of spending an additional $100. on Microsoft office just sent me to the scary place.  I had a million complaints, but I won’t list them now.  I was in the middle of having it out with God good, when my mother called.  Perfect timing because I had told myself I was NOT going to call her.  Poor woman probably thinks the world is falling apart, she hears my every grumble.  My breakdown cost me hours of homework time- but when I got back to my dorm and sat to do some work…I opened a ‘less than pleasant’ email that sent me into, well, let’s just call it, a ‘not so great' evening.  I won't go into the details of what the email was about or who it was from.  Not everything should be aired on the internet.  What I will say is that God cares more about our character than our comfort, and there are things here that are extremely UNcomfortable.  

Ending on a high note, yesterday I had the most fun ‘playing’ that I have had in more years than I could count.  What a much needed blessing.  Our ‘wandering’ field trip led to some much needed relaxation.  We went to a black sand beach for a few hours.  Oh…my…gosh.  You could wander out hundreds of feet into the water, but still touch the sand under the waves.  I have never experienced anything like it…so basically, I could touch the bottom but was out in the middle of full waves coming in and breaking.  It was amazing.  I was a bit afraid at first…but not enough to not do it.  I could stand after all… I was very, very careful and aware of the fact that anyone of these waves, if not respected, could kill me in a flat second.  But life… is for living… so in I went.  It was absolutely the most fun I think I have had in I don’t know how long.  I have only one other time ever, played in waves like that and I think I was about 13 or 14 years old with the Mercer family in Santa Cruz.  Even then it wasn’t like this.  Huge waves breaking over me, duck diving under them watching the darkness turn to light.  Swallowing entirely too much salt water and it burning the back of my throat and nasal passage.  Laughing.  Laughing out loud by myself- being tossed a few times and smacked around a bit.  Having my drawers literally ripped off and caught only by the swift grab!!  It was powerful, exciting, relaxing, and fun.  I had fun.  I had fun. I had fun!!!!  Every now and then there is a moment here, where I have calmness and I can look up.  I can say, “I am in Hawaii right now” and try to remember what that means.  I am not living a tropical life, I am not living the life over here.  I am working my butt of and it is literally taking all I have to do it.  ALL I have, and mostly what I don’t have… God is working it out so that I can become someone who knows His word.  I pray, I pray it all sticks.  This Friday is our first test and we have started the book of Joshua.  I am learning things I never knew, and I am so grateful. 

Well there it is.  The good, the bad, and the truly ugly.

Pray for us… its war… and we are fighting. J xoxo