The good, the bad, and the truly ugly...

Hello, boys and girls.

I hesitate to be honest with you about this last week, but be honest I must as that is all there is….

Last week was the hardest I have had here yet.  I was attacked on every level.  Sunday I felt like my adrenals were lagging, which I hadn’t felt in quite some time but it is a sign of working too hard and not eating as well as I would like to.  Monday my back was out and I could barely function.  The good news is that I had prayed and asked the Lord for healing 3 different times not understanding why it wouldn’t come- I used to go to the chiropractor every two weeks, but not only had I not found one here I know I can’t afford to go every two weeks.  Finally, one of my precious roommates said, “you know- I want to pray for you but I know it wouldn’t do anything, so…”  “What?!  That’s it, come on…” I said.   She was what I was waiting for.  “Let’s go, let’s do it…” I said.  She was hesitant with her own struggles in the week.  As she prayed, saying all the ‘right things’ I cried out to God in my pain and desire for HER to receive.  “Please show her,” I prayed, “Pleeease…show her, and heal ME!!” It was a total combination of selfless and selfish! 

My pain did not completely go away, but I could tell the worst part of it- my rib head- had gone back in.  My range of motion was instantly better and I could stretch.  I wept as we hugged, we were both blown away.  I told her, “It was your prayer of faith I needed. Thank you so much.  Thank you SO MUCH for not holding out on me!”  It was amazing.  I took a shower and she asked me, “how is your back?”  I said, “It’s better… it’s not gone, but it’s better.”  “Well, I guess we need to pray again.”  she said.  She laid her hand on my back and prayed again.  I was so much better, it was literally like being able to breathe.  I was sore, like after an injury, but so so much better.  I knew God was giving me reprieve to get my butt in gear and find a chiropractor. It was the best part of my week.  

Tuesday we had a training regarding a computer program we need for our computers in order to do all the required charts and forms for homework.  I couldn’t download it because I don’t have Microsoft office installed.  I have Microsoft ‘starter’ but not the full office so I couldn’t do it.  You might think this is no big deal, but let me tell you the combination of these events sent me into a breakdown. I lost it.  It is always one more thing here, and last week our homework was due by Thursday morning so we could go on a field trip of ‘wandering in the desert.’  The added pressure and the thought of spending an additional $100. on Microsoft office just sent me to the scary place.  I had a million complaints, but I won’t list them now.  I was in the middle of having it out with God good, when my mother called.  Perfect timing because I had told myself I was NOT going to call her.  Poor woman probably thinks the world is falling apart, she hears my every grumble.  My breakdown cost me hours of homework time- but when I got back to my dorm and sat to do some work…I opened a ‘less than pleasant’ email that sent me into, well, let’s just call it, a ‘not so great' evening.  I won't go into the details of what the email was about or who it was from.  Not everything should be aired on the internet.  What I will say is that God cares more about our character than our comfort, and there are things here that are extremely UNcomfortable.  

Ending on a high note, yesterday I had the most fun ‘playing’ that I have had in more years than I could count.  What a much needed blessing.  Our ‘wandering’ field trip led to some much needed relaxation.  We went to a black sand beach for a few hours.  Oh…my…gosh.  You could wander out hundreds of feet into the water, but still touch the sand under the waves.  I have never experienced anything like it…so basically, I could touch the bottom but was out in the middle of full waves coming in and breaking.  It was amazing.  I was a bit afraid at first…but not enough to not do it.  I could stand after all… I was very, very careful and aware of the fact that anyone of these waves, if not respected, could kill me in a flat second.  But life… is for living… so in I went.  It was absolutely the most fun I think I have had in I don’t know how long.  I have only one other time ever, played in waves like that and I think I was about 13 or 14 years old with the Mercer family in Santa Cruz.  Even then it wasn’t like this.  Huge waves breaking over me, duck diving under them watching the darkness turn to light.  Swallowing entirely too much salt water and it burning the back of my throat and nasal passage.  Laughing.  Laughing out loud by myself- being tossed a few times and smacked around a bit.  Having my drawers literally ripped off and caught only by the swift grab!!  It was powerful, exciting, relaxing, and fun.  I had fun.  I had fun. I had fun!!!!  Every now and then there is a moment here, where I have calmness and I can look up.  I can say, “I am in Hawaii right now” and try to remember what that means.  I am not living a tropical life, I am not living the life over here.  I am working my butt of and it is literally taking all I have to do it.  ALL I have, and mostly what I don’t have… God is working it out so that I can become someone who knows His word.  I pray, I pray it all sticks.  This Friday is our first test and we have started the book of Joshua.  I am learning things I never knew, and I am so grateful. 

Well there it is.  The good, the bad, and the truly ugly.

Pray for us… its war… and we are fighting. J xoxo