Saturday, January 6, 2018

Worst Date... Ever.


I just had the worst date…. Ever.  I met this guy on Match.com.  Couldn’t believe he just popped up from nowhere and seemed so spot on what I seek.  He hears the Father’s voice, he flows in the spirit.  He plays guitar and worships to Bethel music!  He has a dog and spoke of being the Alpha.  Yeah, baby, yeah!  He is a veteran and counsels those coming home with PTSD.  He knows the bible and told me to bring mine on our date!  Wait, what?  Wow… 

Then… I got there.  I wasn’t overly attracted to him but he is far from ugly.  It was a bit awkward but… okay… I don’t really date so of course it could be.  We looked over the menus.  I found that when he asked me a question he didn’t really give me time to completely answer before telling me something scriptural about what I’d just said.  Then he started quizzing me.  “What did satan say to Eve in the garden?”  and “What did God say when he created man?”  Each time I would answer him and he would delve past what I said as if I had the wrong answer or didn’t really know why it was the right answer.  Finally, I decided to just listen.  I was already having thoughts like, ‘Oh, man.  I have to sit through a whole meal of this?’ and ‘when do I get to say… um… thanks but no thanks.’  Thank God I had asked for my own tab so I wouldn’t owe him anything!  After about 10 minutes of him teaching me about identity in Christ I just decided to be honest.

I put my hands up in the classic ‘I’ve been triggered and had enough’ pose.  Otherwise known as a double “stop” sign.
“Look,”  I started, “I hear you and I appreciate what you’re saying.  As a matter of fact I don’t disagree with much of what you are saying, but, I know who I am in Christ.  I am a hard core lover of Jesus Christ and I know who I am in Him.  I feel like you are more interested in educating me than getting to know… me.  So, can we just have a normal conversation?  I mean… we are 10 minutes into this thing, can we just, talk?” 
“I’ll tell you what I’m going to do…” he says, “I’m going to walk away.”  He grabbed his phone and glasses and started to scoot out of the booth.  I thought he meant he was going to give me a minute- to not be overwhelmed or something.  I said, “Oh, you don’t have to do that…” and he stands up saying, “I’m not going to play that with you.” 
“Play that?”  He is mumbling.  “Richard-“ I said… and yes, that’s his real name… “Richard- this is just me being honest with you!”  No response.  The boy could not get away fast enough.  Now mind you… he’s 45 years old.  I cannot believe how immature some ‘men’ still are.  He couldn’t handle confrontation on the mildest level. 

I sat in shock for no longer than 15 seconds before a waitress walked by.  I grabbed her and asked her to just cancel my order.  He, on the other hand, had received his soup and salad and already devoured the salad…without praying may I add!  Haha  Immediately the food came.  I asked the guy to put it in to go boxes.  My original waitress came back and told me, “Your food is already prepared.” 
“Yes… just…bring me the check, please.  I asked the guy to give me to go boxes.”
Then I just sat there.  In shock.  Literally, in shock.  I felt like I had been punched in the gut and now I had to pay for it! 

My phone dinged the text sound and looking at it Richard had texted me saying, “You’re scary.  You get overwhelmed by the word of God” with a laughing/crying face.  Like I was the joke.  Un…believe…able.  Obviously I didn’t respond even though I have about a dozen things I’d like to say to him. Try, I don't get overwhelmed by the word of God...just your presentation of it!  And people wonder WHY Christians have such a bad wrap!!  UGH!!!

The check came, I paid it, got both our meals to go and left.  Sat in my car and…called my Mom.  I mean, it’s what you do. 

This guy, who could do nothing but try to teach me what he knew, that I couldn’t possibly know, was telling me about identity in Christ yet didn’t have enough security in his own identity in Christ that he wasn’t bolting for the door the second a perceived attack on his manhood came into play.  It’s frightening.  Most single men don’t walk in strong faith and the ones that do are… weird. 

Two dates in a year and ½ and people wonder why I don’t go out?  Gee… I wonder. 

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